Human nature never ceases to amaze me. Never.
It astounds me to see how two-faced people really can be. On one hand I constantly see this need to be ethical, professional, non-judgmental, scientific, intellectual and so on... and on the other hand, these same people are some of the most immature, juvenile and irrational people I have ever come across.
When confined to the four walls of their workplace, everything is suddenly very prim, proper and by-the-book, or at least that's what most people strive towards. I shudder to think what transformation happens outside these four walls.
I am currently going through a huge conflicting crisis because I do not get this two-faced-ness. I absolutely don't. And having confronted a few of these people, the picture that I get is that it's ok and that it's a "done" thing.
I remember spending many hours of class time debating such issues. Just because I come from a certain profession doesn't automatically make me a product of the same. I am a product of wayyyyyy more than just a measly few years I spent honing myself for the profession. For example, just because I "studied" counseling doesn't make me a counselor. Just because a counselor isn't supposed to judge doesn't mean I can't judge. And just because I judge other people/situations, doesn't disqualify me from being a counselor. I'm at least being honest! I refuse to be compartmentalized into what I can and cannot do. And I hate the fact that intellectualism and all these stupid pretentious isms try to bind me.
So just because I'm in a very "intellectual" environment doesn't mean that everyone in that environment is the best I can get or that they're wayyyy higher than me. I think intellect has got absolutely nothing to do with seniority and has everything to do with who you are as a person and the humility you have towards the knowledge you've acquired. I'd much rather prefer a brutally honest and not-so-knowledgeable person than a knowledgeable person who acts one way with me in private and another way with me in public. I loathe it. I hope these pretentions turn into glass one day not just so that they can shatter but so that the world can see what rotten crap lies within.
Human nature...at the end of it, I think just disgusts me. And there'll never be a redemption for that. Never.
And that's a never I'm willing to risk a say!
Absolutely.
ReplyDeleteFrequently feel like we're the anomalies in this world where anything is considered 'ok'. To the point where I wonder if I'm expecting too much.
i agree your point to some extent.
ReplyDeleteits just that people seems to be intellectual, professional etc bec they are @ their work place(DepEND oN their profession). They are juvinile, irrational immature when they are just for themselves. Professional knowledge acquired cannot be compared to their personal ones.
Any ways we still seem to be complex ( we ourselves think so) but simple by nature.
I think I know who the 'few people' are. :)
ReplyDeleteI think you should send them a link to this post if they really really go out of their way to get to you and on your nerves. I'm sure they have no clue as to what effect it is having on you.
Too bad, they can't figure it out themselves. That's where the 'immaturity' bit comes in, I guess.
Sigh. Some people will never realize.
@ Chai: sometimes I wonder if I'm expecting too much and in the process cribbing too much... going through such a huge identity crisis that it's not even challenging and motivating anymore..
ReplyDelete@ Reyn: I think this post is more towards venting and figuring my frustrations out over pointing fingers at anyone... I don't think I care about anyone but myself at this point because well, I've got to figure a way out and watch my back... It's just this hypocrisy that's ticking me off... I guess it's another personal battle I've to face. by myself. within those 4 frikkin walls.
Never felt this stifled before. And no matter what, I don't think anything can beat Buzzworks and the work environment it gave me at least... Never. No pretentions and absolutely none of this bullshit!
And also, it isn't about people going out of their way to get to me cuz I don't think I matter that much to others for them to make such an effort. And if I did, then well, people are just barking up the wrong tree and should spend their time doing better things!