Because we're a series of short stories

...and here's a short story from my life.

I've always had an affinity towards railway tracks. I've never really known why. And I think I had an epiphany on why railway tracks (perhaps) mean so much to me apart from the metaphorical (and literal) parallels one can draw from their existence and significance.

These tracks are entwined in my story. They are more than what their rusted entity has become today. They signify that part of my life which have not many semblances or pictorial representations - my childhood. My childhood evenings, to be precise. These are the long outdated and unused tracks that run at the periphery of CV Raman Nagar, Bangalore.

These tracks are where we spent many an evening; my brother, paternal cousin sister (may her soul rest in peace) and me. These tracks are where we tried all our balancing acts while walking the length of the line, only to topple over either by our being novices at balancing or by the distant and thunderous vibrations we'd learnt to distinguish as an oncoming train. These tracks remind me of the lazy summer evenings we'd dream of after school; walks that always gave us such a sense of adventure and wonder, mostly because walks on the line were forbidden and because we had such a beautifully characteristic imagination, like all children do. 

These tracks also brought me face-to-face with how instinctual and protective I am of my brother. I remember us facing our biggest challenge ever of crossing the road to get to the tracks, a road which had traffic of the late 80s/early 90s - the occasional auto, car and tempo. And it was on one such evening that my brother tripped and fell on the road while we 3 were crossing it. I don't know how or when but my sister and I were immediately on guard, shielding him from an oncoming tempo, flailing our arms for the driver to stop while my brother gathered himself up. I don't remember the rest of the evening because it wasn't important enough to remember. It made me reinforce what an elder sibling feels for their younger one. It still does. And yes, it's a big deal for me not because it was something courageous we did but because it made me realize that age can never really come in the way of protecting the one you love. In fact, nothing ever can. And it was quite deep and binding.

These tracks also remind me of Saturday mornings spent with ma and Sam. Ma had just learnt of my brother's and my myopia problems and believed that walking barefoot on dewy grass early in the morning would help. So we would walk hand in hand, on the cold dewy grass along the railway line till we could wait no longer to rush back home and grab the latest edition of Chandamama the newspaper man had just dropped by. 

That's what this line signifies to me. And I finally got the chance to walk up and show it to you. I lived further down, things have changed drastically, I've come a long way, but the view from where I stand today hasn't changed.

Random

I've been meaning to blog, write and talk to you, for a while now. It's just that work and an awry tummy had the better of me. So, I'm back now - better and more alive =)


It's not like I have a post charted out in my head at the moment. I did have one on Saturday, but more on that later. I think this post feels more like its a real-time conversation I'm having with you than being just a piece of writing...


Over the week, I came to realize that I'm Monica Geller. And I'm sort of gleeful about it, and unabashedly so. *grin* I first thought it was about my need to be OCDish about a lot of things. Then I thought it was about my love for gluttony. Then I thought it was about the kind of person I am - dominating, strong personality-type, you know... Then I thought it was about the fact that I can actually cook and bake and eat and differentiate tastes (sometimes) and well, you get the drift. Then I thought it was about the complete lack of modesty! Turns out, the person I've been speaking about all along was not me, but this random and awesome character from FRIENDS named Monica Geller. In my body. With the same madness. At probably the same intensity. Maybe.


It sort of sealed the deal yesterday when I told a friend I preferred the way I made Eggs Menage a Trois as opposed to what we got at The Egg Factory. I just got stared at, but I stand firm on my belief. And yes, the original dish I had there is what originally melted my heart like butter on a Sunday morning, but today, it just doesn't taste as great.


Anyway, moving on to more important things, I was extremely overwhelmed thanks to the following:


- Having the brother (yes, you read that right, the brother!) volunteer to whisk around the yummy stuff I make to a)market, b)publicize and c) sell, all in a wheelbarrow. The idea sounds so awwwwwww and happy and family-ish. 


- Having a friend initiate me to start thinking about starting a small venture of my own, food-wise. My jaw dropped, I got freaked out and cooked some more for her. And then she asked me questions I still don't have the answers for. And what's even more freaky is that she meant business.


- Having readers and friends tell me to go head-on into food, cooking, documenting, food photography and the like. And to hear them say they'd be first in line to get what I put on the table.


- Having a friend tell me he'd invest if I ever plan to start up. I'm still woah-ing about it. 


See? How can I not be overwhelmed by the above? It really makes me think and wonder. And it scares the beegees out of me. And I eventually end up shutting that tiny window that's making this buzz louder. 


I don't know where I am and what I'm meant to be doing. I know there's a lot brewing in me like I've mentioned previously. Let's just see where things take me. I'm a baby in a world full of adults and it can be a tad too scary. Like I said, I don't know what's happening, but to hear all these things just reinforces the fact that there are people, albeit a small group, who really really really do believe in me. And the small group doesn't matter at the end of the day because those who believe are those whom I can count on for believing in me, and more.


*sigh*