I've had a good break of about ten days which just reinforces how awesome it is to be a part-timer. But over the course of these ten days, I've realized a few things which make that good break so-so.

• It really doesn't take much effort to be at home all day in my PJs just catching up on tv shows and movies. I've been on a downloading spree and am glad to say that I'm quite up to date with Grey's Anatomy and Big Bang Theory - 2 shows I really really do care about.
• It's been awesome spending time with friends one after the other. I realize that there are so many people I need to meet and spend time with and I'm working at that in all earnestness. I met a childhood acquaintance (I'd like to believe) whom I'd met very briefly when I was small. And meeting her after a decade or so and catching up was pretty darn amazing. It's nice to see how we've all grown up and created a space for ourselves to conquer our world, our way. 
• I realize I'm a phase person. And by that I mean I have phases with a certain group of people. Not a very nice thing to be, but I really don't intend to obsess about it. Turns out I have phases of when I want to be with particular bunch of people and I'm working on sort of neutralizing that. Of course, there are those I'm trying to phase out of my life for various purposes, but that's a different ball game.
• I've also spent this time cursing the crap out of how idle I've been. The being idle part was awesome to a certain extent, but the shit that happens to a person with an idle mind? not so good at all. Babska and idle mind are a BIG NO NO. 
• However, during this period of idleness, I've come to question some pretty fundamental things - friendships and women. Yeah. Mmhhmm. Women and friendship. Independent of each other. I've questioned my kind and how we function and how I really despise the ways in which we function most often. I can only speak for my kind, so I'm keeping off the male side on this one! :) And friendship - I'm beginning to sift through all the muck to figure what's for real and what's for a fake-ass show to the world. I still remain clueless on the same, and that'll take a long time.
• For someone who is pretty assertive, I've failed to say no to quite a lot of things off late. And it's beginning to tick me off. Babska needs to pull her socks up on this one!
• And this is something I know (but choose to repeat again because of its reinforcing powers) that I am the b***h I need to be. I like me for not taking anyone's crap and I like me for telling people that I'm not here to take their crap. I like me for walking away from people who don't matter, I like me for not taking unnecessary efforts to "patch-up", I like me for having the courage to leave and walk on. I like that. It's bloody difficult, but so rewarding. Because I realize that at the end of the day, you're all to yourself like no one else. And that's a cold, hard fact I'm still grappling at.

It's ok when things don't turn out as we'd envisioned them to be. Once. Twice. Thrice.


But it's not ok when most of what we envision on a regular basis doesn't turn out to be.


That's when we turn into a cynic. A skeptic. 

It takes the world outta me to not dance and groove my way through wherever I'm walking with songs such as Timbaland's 'The Way I Are', Pink's 'Raise Your Glass', Chris Brown's 'Forever', David Guetta and Akon's 'Sexy Bitch', David Guetta's 'Love Is Gone', etc, etc's beats pounding in my ears! Aaaaaah! It's such a herculean task to walk straight and not come across as an idiot only to be stared at more, be it on Bangalore's roads, whilst traveling on the bus or walking down the ginormously long drive of CU!


So, the only result is to come home and blare my speakers till they burst, do this and satisfy my dance cravings! Satisfaction guaranteed. Though I cannot say the same for me guinea pigs!


It's been a wild wild weekend. It's amazing to have friends over to paint the town red with. Such bliss. And the cherry on top is a week's break! 


A came last week. So did D. So we've been restaurant/cafe hopping catching up over gossip and our lives in general. Again, the epitome of my weekend, the wildest I've had in a while involved the alcohol factor. Like I've mentioned before, majority of my decisions (small and big) lie on impulse, as did my weekend. So post hoards of shopping, a friend and I saw ourselves downing 3 effing pitchers. THREE - one beer and the other two LIT. Between two of us.


Impulse at its best. Wild. 


So, friends, food, photographs, music and alcohol = interesting! very very interesting! :P


And it was a good change, I would say.

How is one supposed to make decisions if their life's a roller coaster ride?? The good thing is that life isn't stagnant but man does it make confusion the king of the day! 


Life's just too all over the place to have me figure things out. There's been a lull off late and my motivation to do everything has been fast dwindling. And then today, all it took was Coldplay's Fix You on loop as I traveled to college and a student telling me that he's beginning to really like psychology. That too after a test I gave them all today.


Strange is the world. Strange are the ways in which things happen. Stranger are the timings at which things happen.


Stupid roller coaster. 


I'm at crossroads and I'd like for the ride to stabilize a bit. 


On a different note, yours truly has begun feeling sentimental because it's graduation time. I just don't get how a classroom has such drastic effects on students (and me of course). The same students who're famous for being suspended are otherwise such a pleasure to interact with outside. And I just don't get it. 


I'm gonna miss quite a few of them. They graduate tomorrow. It takes me back to those horrible old days just before board exams. Those days when decisions were suddenly piled on like a plate of stacked bacon, except not so yummy perhaps.


That reminds me, I'm hungry. And bacon, well *sigh* maybe another time.


Stream of consciousness, here we go.


Remember roller coaster, gimme a break. I prefer keeping the change in my pocket and forgoing this one ride. Just this one.

I want to get off the tide and walk for a bit. Or wallow maybe.


And while I'm at it, I'm in no mood to prepare for classes. 


Water bed, cushion me.

We're always surrounded by an exponential number of choices.

You can choose to listen or not.

Choose to be there or walk away.

To speak or to remain mum.

To help or stand by and watch. Or neither.

To communicate or shut up completely.

To keep in touch or not.

To care or be nonchalant.

To believe or suspect.

To hang in there or move on.

I seem to be doing both. And that's exhausting. 

I'm evidently bad with the choice-making. 

But not for long.

ADDICT-ABLE!

Girls' weekend. Haircuts and beers at the hairdresser. Medium spicy chicken wings, pasta, lasagna, tonnes of herb butter and bread, iced teas and lime soda. Chocolate cake. Hot chocolate. TV in bed with girlfriends. Late sunday mornings. Brunch turned lunch. Med salads, Caesar salad, sinful strawberry cheesecake, chocolate pie to die for and dancing in our chairs, ma and me girls for company. Book shopping. Dropping each other off. Promises to have many more. 


Bitching sessions. Laughter sessions. Joke sessions. Roaring laughter sessions. 


And to top it off, I cannot have enough of this song. ON LOOP. LOUD.





And this is what a start to a new year should be like! 


It's pretty darn addict-able!


Happy new year!