The Inside and Outside of It

There's something in me that always wants to cringe when I see people outside our culture flaunt their spirituality. And I don't know what I want to cringe at - the outward show, the in-my face spirituality or the desperate attempt to seek whatever is being sought...I don't know.


The point of this post is not an 'Us vs Them' outlook. The point of this post is to look inward and see things for what they really are. I could debate and argue on this topic endlessly because it is something that deeply moves me. 


Spirituality is very very subjective, internal and I am absolutely certain that each and every one of us is spiritual in our way and right. And I'm not here to comment on what is spiritual and what is not. For that's none of my business or anyone else's. 


However, whenever I hear someone say things like "I'm here to find myself", "I'm on a spiritual quest", or whatever else people say when "finding" their spirituality, something irks me. 


I don't get this outward show of things. The sudden need to clad oneself in dhotis and kurtis, to grow dreadlocks, to wear bathroom chappals and make your presence felt all over the place, etc etc etc. In my opinion, you don't need to wear a certain attire to "become" spiritual or behave in a particular way to attain spirituality, as it were. You don't need to be in a particular place to feel spiritual. And I really don't get this entire show. This need to suddenly be पवित्र  and cleansed off one's so called sins. 


You do not need to come to India to "find" yourself. Spirituality to me comes from within. It is a part and parcel of who you are and what you choose to do with yourself and others. Spirituality is to be grateful, thankful, faithful to name a few. My outlook towards life, the way I conduct myself, the things I choose to say and act upon, my thoughts and feelings, the paths I choose to walk on, the way I approach my life are all parts of my spiritual sense. I do not need outward signs and shows to chalk my path towards spirituality because very honestly speaking, spirituality being within me can surface when I'm at work, with my friends, with my family, with my pets. And that according to me is what matters. Not where I go to find it. 


And what annoys the crap out of me is how the same thing comes and hits us back in our own face. So we now have people outside our culture teaching us yoga, talking about meditation, teaching us the sayings of whoever and we accept it like newfound knowledge. We allow it. And I hate it. 


And if I were to delve into the philosophical undercurrents of it all, I'd just say that the roots of colonialism still hold strong somewhere. But that's another story for another time. 


It's not an 'Us vs Them' outlook. It's an inside vs outside perspective I'm taking. Because at the end of the day I'm no one to say what's right or wrong with others' choices and doings. All I can do is look outside and inside and see where my reality lies.


I'm a Sanskrit illiterate who can't differentiate the Mahabharat from Ramayan and it's ok. I do not know who my Gods are and who controls what in this universe. The only thing I know about the Bhagwad Gita is that it talks about duty. I barely know 3 shloks. I can just about say my prayers. I know no customs. I do not light the lamp every day. I eat meat whenever I feel like it. I eat beef. I enjoy my food. I am superbly grateful for all that I've been given. I feel hugely blessed. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my pets. I love my life. I love my job i.e. interacting with students. I find my peace within myself. I love my space. I am very thankful for all that I'm blessed with. I thank God for seeing me through each day. I respect. I give 200% of myself when I work. I take care to look after my health and that doesn't mean I diet. I give my mind and body what they love because I couldn't have got better. I pray when ambulances wheeze past me. I talk to God. I lose faith when it gets too hard. I try and not ask for much. I try and give back to my planet. I give time to myself. I indulge when I feel like it. I dream of seeing the Himalayas in all their splendour. I connect with the river Ganga. I wish to see her birthplace. I smile. I give. I respect. I care. I love. I live.


And that's the inside and outside of it. Nothing more. Nothing less. 


And no, I have no dreadlocks.