I'm just not ready. It's been 10 months and counting and I'm still.just.not.ready.


I guess when there's a difference between those who have a choice and those who don't.


I did have a choice and I chose to stash the memories away. And I know of those who didn't have a choice and who've dealt with their pain. 


Oddly enough, when I was confronted with a tv show earlier tonight on people suffocating and jumping off the twin towers, instead of sitting numbly and absorbing it all in, I walked off. Because I realize I'm just not frikkin ready.


And it was only a few days back that I passed Carlton Towers after what? 10 months and counting.


Akhil. 


I can't seem to reach you and let go. I can't seem to deal with this crap. I can't seem to find my feet in this shit. I can't seem to think of you minus everything else.


I'm just not ready.


Missings. 


I hope you know.


Missings.